boring talk
Dun need to read unless u are really for it and feeling like reading.
At starbucks, we had a more serious discussion on the topic of vegetarians and worklife. D was saying animal lovers are against the notion of eating the meat of animals.. (it all started with this big shot whom i dunno was a big shot) and i din think it should be that way. We had the same discussion at home coz my sis decided to turn vegetarian like my mum on the 1st and fifteen of the lunar month. Our relatives are true blue vegetarians and another friend eats only fish and vegetables and refrained from meat. All these talks about taking lives and poor animals are rubbish to me. I think the way of the Christians (no i am not one) are more understandable though. Like all know, they give thanks for the food GOD puts on their table. Which is similiar to what i think - we should be thankful for the meat we eat as it is in exchange for a life. 命をとって、肉をたべて、その肉に感謝してのほがいい。 It is more sinful to waste meat than to take a life. It doesn't mean that taking lives are good, but taking only the amount you need, no more and not being wasteful is the key point in respecting lives and as well as animals. I hate to waste food so u can hardly see me with half uneaten food on my plate. There are many beliefs of why man should not eat animals but even plants have a life. Who is to say that the life of an animal is superior to that of a plant, so eating plants are okay but not animals? This debate will go on forever but i will just leave it at this.
We went on to the topic of work.. they seemed surprised when i said that i din want to work at my current firm anymore. I was telling Liddie about this and she can understand me.. so i feel 驚きましたwhen友達に理解をくれませんでした I am on good terms with almost everyone in the office. I can tell who i like and dislike in the company as every one is straightforward and not scheming. It is easy to read them.. see their emotions and understand what kind of person they are.. but the only person i cannot read well is my Boss.. of couse yes he is the boss mah. i cannot surpass him in terms of this, but it makes me wonder all the time what is he thinking of. The difference between sarcastic or joking. The difference of lamenting and scolding. It gives me very little assurance of what i am doing is correct and if i continue working in the firm, the stint of "the intern" will never come off as easily or so what i feel. I feel stuck if i were to remain in the comfort zones all the time (yes i was born to take pains.. this is what aki trained me to do) there are so many things that ticked me off but i will never say because they are my friends and i am not a straightforward person. And lately, I am decreasingly taking things in stride. A small remark said will leave damaging effects on me.. it made me think of the incident in JC. Every time i thought of this incident, I will wonder why to myself, why did i breakdown? Especially in front of other people? Perhaps small accumulations of stuff and the fact that people i like very much are saying hurtful things in a playful manner to me hurts alot even though it was a joke. I can take certain jokes in stride.. but hurtful ones and repeatative ones really gets to me. I guess i am one who will only grow better with praises so working with my female boss had been far enjoyable than with my male boss. Its hard to put into words but my gut feel tells me its not good to continue this. Yes i might return one day but until that day comes and i am needed, no, its very hard for me to work there.
the topic of what i want to do also came up. As u all know, i am super infactuated with the world of Japan. I wanted to LIVE there, and i had been wanting to do so for about half me life up till now. It was my dream to be able to work there for a year or two, gaining what i had missed out due to school and financial capabilities all these while. ok zz time i shall con't another fine day
